AVG(Passive + AGGRESSIVE) = AsSeRtIvE

Why is it so hard for women to be viewed equally as adept as men in business?  I know my job and do it well, so why am I getting paid less???  Men have known it all along, but few women have had the mentorship to teach us that to be successful and get what you want from your career, you must learn to be assertive and confident.  Women have been socialized to believe that passivity keeps you out of trouble.  Who wants to be the problem child, right?  And those who refuse to be the office doormat, take an extreme measure of being aggressive, you know the angry one who will not be walked over and is not afraid to scream her opisition to ANY issue from the highest desktop!  Both recourses have extreme backlash that women should seek to avoid.  Researchers at Essex University have found that women who can navigate the personality pitfalls in the work place make 5% more than those passive
, or overly aggressive women.  It just doesn't pay to be nice...or angry!!  Do any of the below sound familiar to you? Is it you?

Passive:  This is the woman who plays right into the female stereotype and is always smiling with a nice word for everyone.  She goes out of her way to assist whomever she can, but may often come off annoying.  She apologizes for everything and thanks you for everything else.  Even the job that you are paid to do.  A lot of times her feelings get hurt and she's the one crying at her desk...sigh...because she is looking for a magical "Tiara" to be placed on her head when she does a good job; and it rarely ever comes.  Most managers and co-workers "dump" excess work on her because she is way too nice to say "NO"!

Aggressive:  This is the woman that plays to the exact opposite of the feminine stereotype.  She is hard and often comes off as pissed at the world.  Don't disagree with this one because she is going to assume that you are against her.  She becomes very defensive of her ideals, position, and feelings if she even thinks that they are threatened, no matter that she may very well be wrong in her opinion.  No body likes her because it is just too much work to get her to open up her mind to other ideals or changes.  Her BIG EGO is just too high maintenance.

**Assertive**(ding, ding, ding!!)):  These are the "shape-shifters" of the workplace.  They have mastered the art of assessing a situation and adapting for maximum representation and self promotion.  In a meeting, she knows when to be quiet and listen, but also when to put her two scents in and speak up.  She has a positive mental outlook.  She knows how to side-step negativity without choosing side or put in the middle.  Whether talking directly to you, in front of a group, or by email, she is direct and to the point, without adding fluff.  She will do her work and support the team but also knows how and when to delegate the load.  She will not dillute her message to save your feelings and doesn't make excuses for her own knowledge, self-worth, or accomplishments.  [INSERT PICTURE OF ME & YOU HERE!!!]

If passivity means that you are not doing enough to position yourself for success and being aggressive means you are doing to much and possibly allowing the chip on your shoulder to be a major road block to your own success, then being assertive and confident in yourself is surely the fine line between the two extremes that we are going to have to learn to walk.  So, which one are you?

Let us know how you feel right here!! Leave a comment!


Ms. Me