Six years ago, I went through a series of life changing
events. Though tough at the time, all of
these events made me a better person. In
September 2008, my eleven year relationship with my daughter’s father came to an
end and that event led to my decision to take a position overseas. I was separated from my children for the
first time in their lives. Needless to
say, I was on the fast track to having a breakdown but the only thing that kept
me from crumbling was the gym. I went
hard every day running, elliptical machine, free weights, yoga, you name
it. I didn’t have time for tears! I sweated
my anger out and pain was my motivator.
I left 37 pounds of the old me in that gym in Iraq. Fast forward three years later and I was
ready to start my life anew back in the states, Richmond, Virginia.
The first year back was great. I was able to maintain my weight loss but was
very aware that I was only maintaining.
It had been a year and I was staying at the same weight. I guess that’s good but there was so much
more that I wanted to accomplish. I
realized that I was starting to eat poorly and was still working out but was
just going through the motions of working out unenthusiastically. I was totally unmotivated
and my weight loss
came to a standstill. Since then, my
weight has been fluctuating up and down by 10lbs over the last two years and I had
not made any progress.
Last week I reached out to an old friend of mine from high
school that I had been following on Social Media to invite to an event that I am
planning for next year. I reached out to
her because of the strides she had made in her own weight loss journey and I
wanted her to know how much she inspired me in my own. She accepted my invitation and also invited
me to join her workout group on Facebook.
Let me just tell you, I was thrilled and set a high goal for
myself. I will commit and I will
participate and I will lose 5lbs this first week. After the first few days of joining, I
realized what I had been missing.
MOTIVATION. I had been missing Acknowledgement
of my effort, Praise… “She is fine”, “She is beautiful”… flattery, and challenge!! Let me explain further.
After losing 37lbs, during my 3 years working overseas, I
moved to a new city for my job, met a new guy and started a new relationship. I didn’t know anyone in the new place and the
new people I met didn’t know that I had lost 37lbs prior. They had no frame of reference to acknowledge
my efforts. Same with my new
relationship with my boyfriend, when we met, I was already at my lowest weight
in a while and though he gave the customary flattery that any boyfriend would
give, after about 6 months into the relationship the praise and flattery dwindled
as we got comfortable with each other.
Those, “damn your fine” and “baby you bad ”
comments kept me motivated to stay in the gym working on this derriere, abs and
thighs! When they slowed, I slowed. To add to that, my daughters initially
thought it was amazing and acknowledged that their mom was able to lose weight
and get fit, they WERE NOT thrilled that my weight loss journey would also be
their weight loss journey. They in time
got tired of the “Carb-Less” meals and “Clean-Eating”. All of the root causes above led to my
motivation deflation. The once 2-3lb
weight losses per week slowly became .5 – 1lbs lost per week, and then started
fluctuating to 2-3lbs gained, 1lb lost here and there. And hence, my 10lb weight fluctuation up and
down over the last 2 years and stagnated/plateaued weight loss.
So here I am. I started following other peoples journeys
with weight loss on Facebook. I had one
friend in particular; the friend from high school above, whose journey was an
inspiration to me. I decided to call her
up and express to her just that. I
wanted to personally acknowledge her effort and explain how her journey was motivating
me to pick the jump rope back up and how I was actually starting to refocus on
my workouts. She created an online
fitness group on Facebook and I joined.
The hardest part was sharing my weight and measurements because this
knocked me out of my comfort zone. I
stopped hiding my struggles with weight loss.
The other members of the group have held me accountable all week. When I post a success, such as I made or
exceeded my water intake goal, I stuck to my eating clean diet, I got my
workout in…, their “likes” to those posts are like they are cheering me on and
acknowledging my effort. In the group,
people even post their before and after pictures; where they started and where
they are now as motivation and I have a chance to acknowledge their effort and
give praise as well. One day, I am going
to be bold enough to post my before and after pictures so that I can get some of those likes and “Girl you are
fine!!! ” comments too. A “like”
is good, but a “comment” is the cherry on top, ‘Owww’!!!
This week I realized that the reason my weight loss plateaued
for almost 3 years is because I had lost my motivation. You may call me shallow, but I have realized
that I DO need acknowledgment of my efforts, losing weight is not easy. I DO need and want compliments to keep me
motivated. I DO need to be knocked off
of my square at times. I am a BOSS at
work an at home… so it is rare that I am challenged. Sharing my weight and current body
measurements with ANYBODY challenged
me and motivated me to want to do something about it. The result, I lost the 5lbs that I planned to
lose this week, and am looking forward to losing 4lbs next week!! To make a long story short, I found out what
motivates me: acknowledgement of my efforts, flattery, challenge and progress!!
Here are a four B’s for others who are starting on a new
weight loss journey or need tips to regain their motivation:
- Find out what motivates you to lose weight and/or get an stay healthy. BE PROACTIVE.
- Find a fitness group with similar fitness goals as you and join, do the work, Be Active.
- Step out of your comfort zone and share your starting point; weight & measurements, goals, successes and failures with the group, Be Accountable.
Note: When you post on a FB group page, a
good group is usually private so no worries about your business being all over
the place. Also, when you post, other
members can like your status and cheer you on! And if they actually comment and
cheer you on, its like a motivational cherry on top!!
- Do not worry about what naysayers have to say. If you want to be fit and change your diet, schedule and habits, do what is right for YOU. Just know that everyone is not going to be happy about it… I say screw them. BE YOU!!
As always, Ms. Me will always keep it real with you!
SMAT-J!! Stay Motivated Around This Joka’!!
Ms. Me Lipstick
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